Happiest girl in the world

He asked me to be his friend, I said no, I told him why I was polite and nice when I said he makes me feel sick and like hanging myself is a sweet escape, I asked him not to talk to me again because it hurts but he did any way.
There are others that do the same. They walk all over you and break you, then expect you to let them do it again.
I think I might write a rule book for my life, so people can see the things that set off the ocd, the things that make me cry, the things that make me angry and they can avoid them. They don't have to but it would make life simple.

I Feel..

Today I am content and at peace. There is nothing that can drag me down, I will let it go. What a nice, light and rare feeling, I like it =]

Evanescence, uni and great friends

I just had the best weekend I have ever had, Iwent to Bath Spa uni with a friend, stayed with my beautiful best buddy, travelled to london for an Evanescence concert with The Pretty Reckless as support. Back to the uni for sleep then all the way home, it was incredible, thank you Siany Bams and El, miss you guys xx

I feel like Shit today =]

When everything you have just isn't enough, even though you appreciate what you have and love it there is still something missing, like a blackhole in your tummy. The few things you want but don't have you can't have and what you do have you don't want cause it's just to easy. This makes no sence but i am mind fucked and screwed up so who the fuck cares!!

Ghost

Have you ever woken up from a dream convinced you were about to die? Terrified out of your mind and not even remember the dream? I just did that except i wasn't asleep, just walked into my house a night went to pet the dog and noticed he looks wrong. I don't know why because it was definitely him but he looked different. Walking up the stairs to my room had my heart pounding and tears brewing in my eyes because something isn't right. Is it happening backward? So instead of waking up thinking I'm dying, I will fall asleep thinking it.
I am terrified, heart trying to beat it's way out of my chest, shaking from head to toe, there is nothing i can do but go to bed and hope i wake up as normal tomorrow.

Tunnel Vision

When you eventually see a tiny little light in the darkest tunnel, just a pinprick of white in a seemingly never ending black, perhaps you have something to look forward to. It could be a smile from a friendly face or just wise words from a stranger, but that little light can give someone just enough hope to pull them back from the edge. Just enough to give them one more day to get closer to the light and make it brighter.
So perhaps there is hope.

Because...?

Because I am insane
Because I am not scared
Because I don't understand the 'norms'
Because I am easy to hurt
Because I can't
Because you can?